This psychology research investigation is being conducted by
Dr. William E. Snell, Jr. Department of Psychology SE Missouri State University
Cape Girardeau, Missouri 63701 - USA
Address all Internet e-mail to: wesnell@semovm.semo.edu.

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Romantic Relationships

INVESTIGATION CONSENT FORM: This investigation is designed to examine the impact of high personal standards of relationship conduct on the nature of people's intimate, romantic relationships. More specifically, in the present research you will be asked to respond to the items on a questionnaire dealing with general views about intimate relationships. Topics dealing with intimate relationships are a vital aspect of our lives, and as such we think that they are an important focus for study. Thus we encourage you to participate in this project. All of the information gathered in this project is completely confidential. The resulting information will be used only for research purposes. No individual other than the researcher (Dr. Snell) will ever have access to the responses which you provide in this study. Also, all of the information gathered in this project is anonymous. No names, including your own name, will be attached to the data itself. Any participant may withdraw from this project at any time--and there will not be any penalty for doing so.
INFORMED CONSENT: I do hereby give my informed consent to participate in this research project. I understand that participation in the project is entirely voluntary. I also understand that an individual may withdraw from the project at any time without being penalized in any way.

Please Type in Today's Date (month-day-year):

Do you FREELY and WITHOUT PRESSURE consent to participate in this research (type "YES"):

This survey will take about 20 minutes to complete. Thank you.

Page # 1

SURVEY INSTRUCTIONS: Listed below are several statements that concern people's views about romance. Please read each item carefully and decide to what extent it is characteristic of you. Some of the items refer to a specific romantic relationship. Whenever possible, answer the questions with your current partner in mind. If you have never been in a romantic relationship, answer in terms of what you think your responses would most likely be. Then, for each statement select the response that applies to you by using the following scale:

A = Not at all characteristic of me.
B = Slightly characteristic of me.
C = Somewhat characteristic of me.
D = Moderately characteristic of me.
E = Very characteristic of me.

NOTE: Remember to respond to all items, even if you are not completely sure.
Your answers will be kept in the strictest confidence.
Also, please be honest in responding to these statements.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

1. Are you currently in a romantic relationship?
2. I set very high standards for myself as a romantic partner.
3. If I am "perfect" as a romantic partner, then society will consider me to be a good romantic partner.
4. My romantic partner sets very high standards of excellence for herself/himself as a romantic partner.
5. My intimate partner expects me to be a perfect romantic partner.
6. I expect my romantic partner to always be a top-notch and competent intimate partner.
7. I must always be successful as a romantic partner.
8. Most people in society expect me to always be a perfect romantic partner.
9. My romantic partner is perfectionistic in that she/he expects to be a perfect romantic partner all the time.
10. My romantic partner demands nothing less than perfection of me as a romantic partner.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

11. My romantic partner should never let me down when it comes to being an intimate partner.
12. One of my goals is to be a "perfect" romantic partner.
13. Most people expect me to always be an excellent romantic partner.
14. It makes my romantic partner uneasy for him/her to be less than a perfect romantic partner.
15. My romantic partner always wants me to be a perfect romantic partner.
16. I cannot stand for my partner to be less than a satisfying romantic partner.
17. I always feel the need to be a "perfect" romantic partner.
18. I have to be a perfect romantic partner in order for most people to regard me as okay.
19. My romantic partner sets very high, perfectionistic goals for herself (himself) as a romantic partner.
20. My romantic partner pressures me to be a perfect romantic partner.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

21. I expect nothing less than "romantic" perfectionism from my intimate partner.
22. I always pressure myself to be the best romantic partner in the world.
23. In order for people to accept me, I have to be the greatest romantic partner in the world.
24. My romantic partner is always trying to be totally perfect as a romantic partner.
25. My romantic partner has very high perfectionistic goals for me as a romantic partner.
26. I will appreciate my romantic partner, but only if she/he is a" perfect" romantic partner.
27. I have very high perfectionistic goals for myself as a romantic partner.
28. Most people expect me to be perfectionistic when it comes to being a romantic partner.
29. My romantic partner always feels that she/he has to be the best possible romantic partner.
30. In order for my romantic partner to appreciate me, I have to be a perfect romantic partner.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

31. I expect my partner to try to be perfectionistic when it comes to romantic behavior.
32. I am currently in a romantic relationship.
33. I am going to respond to the following items based on:
34. My partner has very high romantic expectations and standards for me.
35. Being organized in my romantic relationships is very important to me.
36. My partner has criticized me for being less than a perfect romantic partner.
37. If I do not set the highest standards for myself, I am likely to end up a second rate romantic partner.
38. My partner never tries to understand my relationship mistakes/shortcomings.
39. It is important to me that I am thoroughly competent as a romantic partner.
40. I am rather neat (i.e., not messy) in my romantic relationships.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

41. I try to take an organized approach to my romantic relationships.
42. If I fail to satisfy my romantic partner, I am a failure as a romantic partner.
43. I should be upset if I make a mistake with my romantic partner.
44. My partner wants me to be the best possible romantic partner in the world.
45. I set higher goals for myself as a romantic partner than do most people.
46. If someone were a better romantic partner than I, then I myself would feel like a romantic failure.
47. If I fail in any way to be a totally good romantic partner, it is as bad as being completely inadequate.
48. Only when I am an "outstanding" romantic partner is it good enough for my romantic partner.
49. I am very good at focusing my efforts at satisfying my romantic partner.
50. Even when I am very careful as a romantic partner, I often feel that I failed to do something quite right.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

51. I hate being less than the best possible romantic partner.
52. I have extremely high (performance) goals for myself as a romantic partner.
53. My romantic partner expects "relationship excellence" from me.
54. My romantic partner would probably think less of me if I made a mistake in our romantic relationship.
55. I never feel like I can meet my romantic partner's expectations for me.
56. If I am not as good at romance and intimacy as other people, it means I am an inferior person.
57. Other people seem to accept less from themselves as a romantic partner than I do for myself.
58. If I do not constantly attend to our romantic relationship, my partner will not respect me.
59. My partner has always had higher expectations for our romantic relationship than I have.
60. I try to keep things neat and organized in my romantic relationship.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

61. I usually have doubts about even the simple things I do and say with my romantic partner.
62 In my romantic relationships, orderliness (and neatness) is very important to me.
63. I expect more of myself as a romantic partner than most people.
64. I take an organized approach to my romantic relationships.
65. I tend to have problems in my romantic relationships because I keep doing things the same old way.
66. It takes me a long time to do things in the "right" way in my romantic relationships.
67. The fewer mistakes I make as a romantic partner, the more my partner will like me.
68. I never feel like I can meet my partner's romantic expectations/standards for me.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

Page # 2

INSTRUCTIONS: Please select the letter for each item which best answers that item for you.
69. How well does your partner meet your needs?
70. In general, how satisfied are you with your relationship?
71. How good is your relationship compared to most?
72. How often do you wish you hadn't gotten in this relationship?
73. To what extent has your relationship met your original expectations?
74. How much do you love your partner?
75. How many problems are there in your relationship?

Page # 3

76. Following are descriptions of four general relationship styles that people often report. Please read each description and indicate the one style that best describes you or is closest to the way you generally are in your close relationships.

A = It is easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I don’t worry about being alone or having others not accept me.

B = I am uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely, or to depend on them. I worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others.

C = I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others don’t value me as much as I value them.

D = I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.

Page # 4

INSTRUCTIONS: Please rate each of the following relationship styles according to the extent to which you think each description corresponds to your general relationship style. Use the following scale for the next 4 questions.

A = Not at all characteristic of me.
B = Slightly characteristic of me
C = Somewhat characteristic of me.
D = Moderately characteristic of me.
E = Very characteristic of me.

77. It is easy for me to become emotionally close to others. I am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I do not worry about being alone or having others not accept me.
78. I am uncomfortable getting close to others. I want emotionally close relationships, but I find it difficult to trust others completely, or to depend on them. I worry that I will be hurt if I allow myself to become too close to others.
79. I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others, but I often find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I am uncomfortable being without close relationships, but I sometimes worry that others do not value me as much as I value them.
80. I am comfortable without close emotional relationships. It is very important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient, and I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.

Page # 5

INSTRUCTIONS: The items listed below refer to people in a close relational--i.e., a relationship between two partners in an intimate relationship. Please read each item carefully and decide to what extent it is characteristic of your feelings and behaviors. Give each item a rating of how much it applies to you by using the following scale:

A = Not at all characteristic of me.
B = Slightly characteristic of me.
C = Somewhat characteristic of me.
D = Moderately characteristic of me.
E = Very characteristic of me.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

NOTE: Remember to respond to all items, even if you are not completely sure.
Your answers will be kept in the strictest confidence.
Also, please be honest in responding to these statements.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

81. I am very aware of any changes in my intimate relationships.
82. I am very aware of what others think about my close relationships.
83. I usually feel quite anxious about my intimate relationships.
84. I reflect about my intimate relationships a lot.
85. I'm concerned about what other people think of my relationships.
86. It takes me time to get over my shyness in a new close relationship.
87. In general, I'm attentive to the nature of my close relationships.
88. I'm concerned about the way my intimate relationships are presented to others.
89. Intimate relationships make me feel nervous and anxious.
90. I'm always trying to understand my close relationships.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

91. I'm usually aware of others' reactions to my close relationships.
92. I am somewhat awkward and tense in intimate relationships.
93. I'm alert to changes in my intimate relationships.
94. I'm concerned about how my intimate relationship appears to others.
95. I feel nervous when I interact with a partner in an intimate relationship.
96. I'm very aware of reactions to my close relationships.
97. I usually worry about the impression my close relationships have on others.
98. I am more anxious about intimate relationships than most people are.
99. My thoughts sometimes drift toward the nature of my close relationships.
100. I'm usually alert to others' of what goes on in my close relationships.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

101. I feel uncomfortable when I think about talking with an intimate partner.
102. I seldom think about the dynamics of my intimate relationships.
103. I sometimes wonder what others think about my intimate relationships.
104. I would feel inhibited and shy in an intimate relationship.
105. I think about my close relationships more than most people do.
106. I'm not usually attentive to what others think about my intimate relationships.
107. I would not be nervous about discussing issues with an intimate partner.
108. I usually spend time thinking about my close relationships.
109. I'm usually alert to others' reactions to my intimate relationships.
110. I would feel anxious in a new intimate relationship.

Page # 6

A = Not at all characteristic of me.
B = Slightly characteristic of me.
C = Somewhat characteristic of me.
D = Moderately characteristic of me.
E = Very characteristic of me.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

NOTE: Remember to respond to all items, even if you are not completely sure.
Your answers will be kept in the strictest confidence.
Also, please be honest in responding to these statements.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

111. I am a good partner for an intimate relationship.
112. I am depressed about the relationship aspects of my life.
113. I think about intimate relationships all the time.
114. I am better at intimate relationships than most other people.
115. I feel good about myself as an intimate partner.
116. I think about close relationships more than anything else.
117. I sometimes have doubts about my relationship competence.
118. I am disappointed about the quality of my close relationship.
119. I don't daydream very much about intimate relationships.
120. I am not very sure of myself in close relationships.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

121. I cannot seem to be happy in intimate relationships.
122. I tend to be preoccupied with close relationships.
123. I think of myself as an excellent intimate partner.
124. I am less than happy with my ability to sustain an intimate relationship.
125. I'm constantly thinking about being in an intimate relationship.
126. I would rate myself as a "poor" partner for a close relationship.
127. I feel down about myself as an intimate partner.
128. I think about intimate relationships a great deal of the time.
129. I am confident about myself as a relationship partner.
130. I feel unhappy about my interpersonal relationships.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

131. I seldom think about being involved in a close relationship.
132. I am not very confident about my potential as an intimate partner.
133. I feel pleased with my love relationships.
134. I hardly ever fantasize about highly intimate relationships.
135. I sometimes doubt my ability to maintain a close relationship.
136. I feel sad when I think about my intimate experiences.
137. I probably think about love relationships less often than most people.
138. I have few doubts about my capacity to relate to an intimate partner.
139. I am not discouraged about myself as a loving partner.
140. I don't think about intimate relationships very often.

Please respond to all questions. Thank you.

Page # 7
INSTRUCTIONS: The following demographic data will be used only to describe the group characteristics of the resulting sample of participants (e.g., 25% were young and 75% were older). They will not be used to identify individual responses.

1. What is your Marital Status?
2. How long have you been married (total number of years)?
3. How many children do you have?
4. What is your own income?
5. What is your spouse's income?
6. What is your gender?
7. What is your ethnic heritage?
8. What is your religious heritage?
9. What is your age?
10. What is your spouse's age?
11. Are you in love now?
12. How large is the place where you live?
13. How frequently do you attend church?
14. What is your current living arrangement?
15. Are your parents divorced?
16. What is your level of education?
17. What is your spouse's education level?
18. How many children do you have?
19. How old are you (number of years)?
20. What is your Race / Ethnicity?
21. In what country do you live?

You are finished!
Thank you for taking the time to respond to this research survey.
If you would like additional information about this research, e-mail me at wesnell@semovm.semo.edu.
If you wish to see a brief description of this research, click here: Debriefing.

This site was last updated on June 17, 2007.
Department of Psychology, College of Liberal Arts, SE Missouri State University
Send comments and inquires to: wesnell@semovm.semo.edu
Copyright © 1998, William E. Snell, Jr., Ph.D.